a week of Farrell8

Awesome. Exhausting. Loving. Funny.

Just a few words that describe this past week. Late Sunday night, Scott, Estee, and kids (also known as Farrell1, Farrell2, Farrell3, Farrell4, Farrell5, and Farrell6) made their way to Pittsburgh. First thing Monday morning they appeared in our apartment (thanks once again to the Nadoff family for hosting) ready for a day of fun. (side note, they also showed up with some goodies from NY that we were missing, like brown rice sushi for mom and boxes of Mrs Goodman’s rice with vermicelli for me… I’m weird that way) It was humid and I couldn’t breathe outside, so I stayed in while Mom took the others out to the pool. After swimming, some of the kids played tennis with Scott, followed by family dinner where everyone seemed to be eating a different version of almost the same thing. And throughout the day, Chavi somehow participated in a gazillion group chats and FaceTimes with her friends about camp, and both Chavi and Dovid played multiple rounds against me in DrawSomething (which, FYI, is a huge battery drainer).

Tuesday was forecasted to be a rainy day so we planned for indoor activities. In the morning, Scott, Dovid, Chavi, Dina, and I went to see Inside Out 3D in the movie theater (going to the first show of the day in the middle of the week means fewer people). With snacks safely brought in via the oxygen tank bag and extras plus a giant shared soda bought at the kiosk (they give you the cup and you get to serve yourself the soda, extra fun for the kids), we found our theater and picked our seats. The movie was so beautifully done and so definitely written for people of all ages; it’s entirely possible that I appreciated it more than the kids. Highly recommended for adults who would write it off as a kid’s movie. While we were at the movies, Mom, Estee, and Batsheva went shopping and ran some errands, then returned to the apartment to hang out. Despite us trying to entice them after our movie ended to come back out and meet us at Dave & Busters, they resisted, so Scott, D, C, D, and I went without them. Mostly the kids played and I watched, but we did have a friendly family competition at the horse races game (roll the white ball into either walk, trot, run holes to race your horse), and even though my lucky number 7 horse was out of order and I had to settle for Horse 8 (aka Archie), I managed to beat out Chavi’s horse by just a second or two and won 25 double tickets! It didn’t seem like so many tickets when Dovid played the jumping game and managed to win 900, but I was still pretty happy with my win. And as usual, the kids’ skill at the claw games amazes me and I am the proud recipient of a monkey, duck, banana, and M&M doll, plus each of them have at least one stuffed animal for themselves won in the claw games. The kids nicely pooled their tickets at the end to make sure each of them got a toy they were happy with from the prize shop and we headed back to the apartment for dinner. We all just hung out a bit but then Scott headed over to the Butlers to help set up for the annual world-famous Butler BBQ NCSY fundraiser (which took place Wednesday night).

Wednesday morning, everyone gathered at the apartment as usual, and then Scott took me to rehab while the rest of the crew went book shopping for camp. I was excited to wear my new shirt sent to me all the way from London from an amazing graphic designer Kimberley Harris. {I was looking online for shirts relating to lung transplants that I could wear to inspire myself and came across her design. I sent her a message and found out that she had made these shirts a few years ago as part of a project she was involved in and didn’t have any more. But she called the t-shirt printer and they made up one more for me which she sent me as a present! It came in the mail just this week and I got to wear it for the first time.} After rehab, Scott and I returned to the apartment where I laId down for a bit while the family went back out to the pool. We had a delicious dinner followed by a family game of lawsuit, where team Dina-Dodah once again took the win; it helped that Chavi kept accidentally falsifying court documents and Dovid kept taking settlements not beneficial to his side. After checking online to find out what camp bunks they were in, they headed out to go shower and sleep.

And then this morning, there were back for breakfast, some final Wii tournaments (who knew Bubby could race cows better than everyone else?), and some final camp drama (really? 54 texts about which girls were in which bunk? I think G3, G4, and G5 *all* seem to have super fun girls). Presents were given, goodie bags were packed, and then after hugs and kisses, Farrell1, Farrell2, Farrell3, Farrell4, Farrell5, and Farrell6 left us to go back to New York.

On this Thankful Thursdays here are a few things we are thankful for this week. As always, feel free to comment and let us know what you are thankful for.

Meri’s list:

1. Obviously the family visit (same as mom)
2. For the wonderful reminder, courtesy of Inside Out, of the intricacies of how parts of the brain work: So many parts needing to work together, with hidden pockets, and built in processes. And to the Bing Bongs who sacrifice themselves to make way for other “more important” things.
3. For the caring and gentle nieces and nephew I have. It’s beautiful to see how they care for their baby sister and how helpful they are to me (going out for the day with multiple tanks meant several people had to push/pull tanks to the car and every child stepped in to bring one). I am a lucky Dodah!
4. For Kimberley’s beautiful design and generous gift (see her other designs at http://www.kimberleyharrisdesign.com/)

Sandy’s list:

1. for the wonderful visit from Scott, Estee, Dovid, Chavi, Dina, and Batsheva.
2. for the good weather (mostly) while they were visiting.

lighting up?

It’s been awhile since I posted something about the weekly Torah portion (the parsha) and thought it was a fitting week as this is the portion that G-d gives Miriam leprosy. As there aren’t many places in the Torah where illness and isolation due to illness are discussed, I thought I could make some brilliant connection. When that failed to appear, I decided to use my good friend Google for inspiration. I wound up on Chabad.org reading something by Nechoma Greisman, about a different part of the Torah portion, the part where Aaron is told to light the menorah in the temple on a daily basis.

Ms. Greisman notes that the text in the Torah, apparently, uses an unusual expression and writes “when you will raise up the lamps,” instead of simply saying “light the lamps.” Rashi, a noted commentator, explains that Aaron, the high priest, had to “coax the flame until it burned on its own.” She then further notes that Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi explains that each of the seven lamps of the candelabra corresponds to one of the seven holy character traits.

But then she didn’t list all 7 traits, which I now needed to know, so I went back to my friend Google, and after much searching, I found that these seven holy character traits are “Chesed (kindness), Gevurah (severity), Tiferet (beauty), Netzach (endurance), Hod (splendor), Yesod (foundation), and Malchut (royalty).”

With this in mind, I returned to Ms. Greisman’s article. She writes that the Lubavitcher Rebbe points out that the seven lamps of the menorah symbolize the different paths in living a godly life. These are different ways to be and just as the candelabra brings light to others, you can use your quality to be a metaphorical candelabra of your own. So it’s okay that we’re all different and do things differently. It’s okay that we’re not the same. The real issue is what you do with your trait… Are you just lit or are you someone who uses your light to raise others up? Do you, like Rashi explained, “coax” the light to burn more?

So getting back to recurring themes of previous posts, why we are here and what we do for others, I hope you’ll indulge me and think of what your positive prominent character trait is and how you use it to inspire others or help others be their best. Although not one of the listed godly traits, I think I am a respectful questioner; I hope I inspire or cause others to question themselves the way I question myself in a way that builds you up to being a better person. If I had to pick one of the 7 traits, I think it could either correspond with Yesod/foundation (building oneself needs a strong foundation) or Netzach/endurance (becomes like the Energizer bunny, I keep going).

On this Thankful Thursday here are a few things we are thankful for this week. As always, feel free to comment and let us know what you are thankful for.

Meri’s list:

1. People who inspire me and challenge me to be a better person.
2. Being able to laugh (appropriately!) during serious situations (that’s for you Laura if you’re reading; I really enjoyed our conversation this past week)
3. Google… The search possibilities seem endless!

Sandy’s list:

1. Aarp.org/games
2. Wordwhomp
3. Raspberry Lemon Blended Chobani

This week…

It’s been one of those weeks. Where the humidity is high and breathing is hard and I stayed in the same clothing for 3 days. I rallied (and changed clothing!) to go to rehab on Monday and was extremely frustrated when my body didn’t do what it was supposed to. Went to the doctor on Tuesday and back to rehab on Wednesday where it did go better than Monday. And when I came home, I went to lay down and hooked myself up to the noninvasive ventilator because I needed to make sure I felt ok because we had plans to go to my friends Stefanie and Jason for dinner (a BBQ!). I had been looking forward to it and sometimes when you have a good goal, your mind can force your body to comply. And I made it there!

Jason and I were in the same third grade class in school, and then just the same grade (but not actual class) up through high school. We worked near each other in downtown Manhattan the summer after high school and used to meet up for lunch by the World Trade Center. Stefanie and I may have first met at Hillel Day camp one summer (it certainly looks like her in an old camp photo), but became friends when Stef transferred to my High school in 9th grade and became my classmate for 4 years. We spent the summer of my 16th birthday together on a teen tour of Israel, and continued to keep in touch throughout our separate college experiences. I actually visited them in Pittsburgh (from NY) shortly after they bought their current house in the fall of 2001 and they were my first thought when I knew I might be coming to Pittsburgh for lungs.

We spent last night doing a lot of reminiscing…. When they came to visit me after my wisdom teeth came out to tell me they picked a wedding date and my reply was, “you’re getting married on Shani Cappell’s birthday?” And on our 8th grade moon phases project, something any HAFTR JHS alum can recall. And thankfully we had Shana on text as a lifeline when we couldn’t remember who taught 8th grade Social Studies.

Looking back, I’m reminded of how many times I felt overwhelmed by school experiences and drama and like there was no way to make it through (though from this perspective they were so trivial) and it really made me realize that no matter what, I’ve always pushed through and made it work, I never backed down or crumbled under the pressure. And I will with this now too. And even better, I have many good friends who stand by me and support me throughout it all.

So besides for them, on this Thankful Thursday here are a few things I’m thankful for this week. As always, feel free to comment and let us know what you are thankful for.

Meri’s list:   

1. My sister-in-law, Estee. Seeing how tomorrow is the anniversary of her joining our family (it’s not just Scott she married, she got all of us in the process), I’d like to let everyone know how grateful I am to have gotten the best SIL ever. And since she came with the bonus siblings and extended family, I’m thankful for all of them and glad to be an honorary Scharf cousin.
2. making connections with others through art
3. that clean feeling you experience right after you shower

Sandy’s list:   

1. Beautiful sun-shining days
2. Homemade seafood salad
3. Short(er) hair

P.S. June 13: Happy anniversary S&J and Happy Birthday SCB!

What’s in your briefcase?

I’m not sure why but mom and I spent much of this week joking and laughing. Did you ever have one of those days where everything was just funny? We had several of those days so it was quite enjoyable.

Our week started on Sunday when one of the community Rebbetzins came over for a visit. We’ve been here a year (plus) and hadn’t met yet so it was really nice that she took the initiative to get in touch and offer to come to us. After she left, I battled with both our smart TV and mom’s laptop to try to try to get the Celebrate Israel parade livestream to work. I grew up going to that parade down Fifth Avenue every year (back when it was called Salute to Israel) and for the past two years watched it (first on TV in NY on MY9, then last year through the online live stream) but I couldn’t get it to work. I love watching, looking for friends and family and posting pictures of them when I find them online. I have successfully found my friend Avi and my brother Scott and nephew each year so I enjoy my version of where’s Waldo while also cheering for the local groups and appreciating the artistry of signs and banners and floats. Since I couldn’t watch live, I read a bit and napped. Of course now that I can see the recorded version, the cameras chose this year to not feature the group my family marches with, so sadly it breaks the streak of finding them. At night my friend Rivky came by briefly with her (new) husband; Rivky was in Pittsburgh for her own checkup (her double lung transplant was 5 years ago) and brought some stuff from my sister-in-law Estee.

Monday was very cool and not sunny, but the weather was perfect for me. No humidity and I could just breathe easier which made rehab go that much better. Mom asked me what I was in the mood for with the chicken she was making for dinner and I said zucchini. Mom asked how I wanted it prepared and I said I didn’t care. So mom went online, found a recipe, and then changed the recipe around and made it. At dinner, when I declared the cous cous stuffed zucchini a success, mom stated that she hoped her “adventurous spirit” (her words) would make the blog.

Tuesday was a quiet day that I spent reading and mom had her book club. Wednesday was another quiet day without anything of importance to report.

So as usual, when there isn’t much of the news front to report, I start letting my mind wander about other things to talk about here in the blog. The thing I keep coming back to is The Briefcase, a new show on CBS on Wednesday nights. So far there have been 2 episodes and mom and I have watched them both. The premise of the show is that a needy family who has agreed to be interviewed for a documentary about money is given a briefcase with $100,000 and has to decide whether to keep the money, share it, or give it all away; over the course of the episode they learn about another needy family, one who would be the recipient of the money that the documentary family chooses not to keep, should they do so. What the documentary family doesn’t know is that this other needy family is in their same situation! They are also in the documentary, also given a briefcase, and learning about family 1 to decide whether to give them any/all money. Hopefully I explained that so it made sense… So the show is basically about examining your own beliefs about what you would do if your money problems were fixed, but you knew that if it happened someone else who was also worthy didn’t have theirs fixed. Would you want to help someone else? How much would you want to help them? I don’t want to give away the endings of what the families have decided but I highly recommend episode 1 for the very honest and varied responses to what to do (give it all away, keep it all, etc). I think at any given time we may be presented with a metaphorical briefcase containing something that could advance ourselves but could also be used instead to help someone else. When opportunities knock, do you take a look around and see how this opportunity for you could be used to also help someone else or do you get stuck in your own personal experience?

There are times I fill this blog with news and other times that I fill this blog with feelings. I’d like to think though, that this blog is my briefcase. For me, it gives me the opportunity to not be so isolated when I’m miles from home and mostly in the apartment. But I’d like to think that I don’t use my briefcase to selfishly only focus on me and hope that I cause you to examine your own beliefs on issues and think about them beyond the blog and that it helps you in your life in some way (whether it makes you more grateful or changes your perspective on something, etc)… Maybe even cause a ripple effect

And so, for BR who told me last night that while he has never commented, he has always loved the Thankful Thursdays here are a few things I’m thankful for this week. As always, feel free to comment and let us know what you are thankful for.

Meri’s list:

1. Pictures and videos of the parade; also that a recorded version of the live stream now exists to watch. Even more so that I live in a country where other cultures routinely celebrate their heritage and culture openly and safely by literally parading it down the street. And in this particular case, I’m glad of the support Israel received by this year’s parade.
2. Strawberry twizzlers
3. Mom’s “adventurous” side
4. Old bad cheesy movies shown on TV

Sandy’s list:

1. American Ninja Warrior back for another season
2. Blue skies today (as opposed to grey skies yesterday)
3. Maxon Towers book club

***And now I also issue a challenge to my brother Scott… you worked my growth from resistance and struggling butterfly (last week’s blog entry) into your last week’s Friends ‘n Fun email update on your Bike 4 Chai training… I challenge you to incorporate the briefcase this week 😉 Good Luck! (for those of you who don’t know, my brother is training to complete an 180 mile 2-day bike ride to raise money for kids battling cancer and sends out very witty weekly emails about his training. Let us know if you’d like to subscribe and he’ll add you to his distribution list.)